When Big Families Were Normal

I came from a family of 5. Two parents, three kids. Myself and two sisters, one older and one younger, and me right in the middle. That was it. I don't consider a family of five small, nor do I consider them large. I grew up knowing families with four or more kids and it was never strange to me, though I don't think it ever occurred to me that I would want a larger family until ours began to grow. Now we match my husbands and my family. Two parents, three kids. As I've grown up my view and value for family has changed. Now that I have one of my own, and having gone through the loss of a child through miscarriage in the process, each additional child is counted a blessing. They all are. They are each a gift handed to us, graciously given, and completely valuable. I am amazed at how much culture has changed in recent years in regards to this, and in particular the attitude towards those who choose to have a larger family. Whether you have 2 or 20, I don't see why anyone thinks they have a place to judge or determine if someone should "stop". There are a lot more vulger terms put out there in the opinions of those who write publicly and online. What is even more amazing, and to be honest a bit annoying, is when I personally hear comments on the size of my family. And I have 3 kids. Not 20, but 3. Be it that I am young, and my kids are close in age, but I have moments where I have to hold my tongue towards those who say things without a thought, and assume they have a right to be vocal about our personal family choices. "Did you do a head count!?" These were the words heckled at me from a man sitting in a van as I walked past him with my babes in tow today. And on another day "You might as well have one more!" and when I responded "Sure, why not?" he replied, "you would really have another one!?" I hadn't realized he was asking a serious question, but does it matter? On many occasions I'm told how busy I must be, and some people honestly look concerned for me as I juggle my 3 babes in public. Are kids the only humans who ever have bad days? And are tempermental? And have needs? There is a silver lining in this, in that there are some incredibly gracious older people who compliment me and spout words of encouragement as I try to take care of my young ones, and tell me stories of their own 5 kids or however larger their family was. And sometimes I meet some daring young folk who have 4 or more kids of their own, and are just enjoying them. Enjoying the busyness, the fun, the exhaustion, the variety and the stress of it all. Because if we were honest, raising kids can be stressful too. But it's mostly fun. Some of those daring ones are dear friends of mine and incredible examples to me as I work things out with my 3. Mostly I just wonder why it has become such a commodity for families to be large. Especially considering most of the previous generations came from HUGE families. My husbands family is a great example of this. 5 kids on his moms side, 11 on his dad's side. My grandpa had 10 siblings. And while many of these would say how incredibly hard it was to raise a family of that size, I think many would also agree that it was worth the hardship, the stress, and all of that because of the bond they have now. I have seen that in my grandpa's family and in my husbands family as well. So what has changed? The rules have changed perhaps. Different world, different societal pressures, economy, birth control options have probably all contributed to this new mindset. Not that they are all wrong, but I just wish that it would be okay that for those who decide that having a large family is for them, that they weren't looked down upon, and it would still be considered normal to have 4-5 kids instead of only 1 or 2. Some of you may be wondering if we plan on having more. It's possible, but we're happily busy with our 3 little ones. For now, we're a happy family of two parents, 3 kids. What do you think has influenced this perception of large families? Has your view of family changed since having your own?